So I went to see my nutritionist today. I just came back from a 4 day vacation during which I had really no say in any of the food I ate (except for my snacks) and had to eat "off plan" due to the fact that I was in China, and eating Chinese food at every meal. I ate well and made it through the trip no problem, so my nutritionist decided it was time for me to bring some of the lessons from my vacation back home. This week, I have to eat at least one full day "off plan"- no counting exchanges, measuring, nothing. I have to listen to how my body feels. Of course, I knew all along that this was the ultimate goal, but it still seems daunting. On my meal plan I eat (and am hungry) six times a day... how will I stop myself from eating too much at any given meal or snack? I can use my plan as a guide... I know that 1 piece of toast isn't a good breakfast, nor is an entire loaf, but my BODY will be making a new plan, and one that I have to follow.
Despite my nervousness, I'm also really excited. I haven't listened to my body in 4 years. I spent far too much time ignoring both my hunger and fullness signals. For the past 5 months, I've been eating "normally" but now I'm starting to eat MY way. Listening MY preferences, cravings, schedule, and body's needs. And, in the end, that is the goal, isn't it?
On another note, I'm getting nervous/excited/anxious about going off to college in just SIX WEEKS. While I'm thrilled about the independence, I'm intimidated by the fact that I will have to make decisions on my own and live with them. What if I choose classes that are too hard? What if my roommates think I'm obnoxious, loud and annoying? What if I don't make friends? What if I can't balance studying and having fun? There's all these what-ifs, and they all scare me. It seems like so many things could go wrong. But, then again, I'm only looking at the negatives. There are so many things that could go RIGHT. What if...
My roommates and I become really close and all get along well?
My classes challenge and interest me, with some that push me harder than others?
I find a great group of friends with varied interests who support me?
I think its the last one that's most important. I feel if I have support- genuine, kindhearted support, I can deal with any of the other what-ifs. I just have to remind myself that I have NO REASON to think I won't find friends. I have tons of awesome traits (as well as some quirks, let's call them) and if I can accept myself as I am, I'm sure many other people will be able to as well.
Has anyone else experienced similar anxieties about either of these issues? I would love to know!