I had something really frustrating happen to me today. Basically, I'm teaching English to toddlers, and today I had classes from 10 to 2, with only 15 minute breaks. However, the room is really never without kids, so basically I was on the job for 4 hours straight and right through lunch time. I stressed about this a bit, but decided that I would simply eat an extra morning snack at around 12, to hold me over until my 2:00 lunch. This sounded like a good idea until I pulled out my sandwich. I was eating it quickly and still playing with the kids, but the fact that I was eating it at all was apparently not OK. A parent came in to the classroom and started yelling at me. Later, my boss called me, very angry, and now I'm not sure I'll even be able to return. All because of a sandwich??
The reason I'm frustrated is that I was trying to take care of myself, not let myself get too hungry and listen to my body. Because I'm in recovery from an ED, its different for me- I CANNOT allow myself to be really, really hungry.
If I was a diabetic they wouldn't have a problem with me eating. But if I was a diabetic I would tell my boss my reason for eating. I still can't bring myself to be upfront about my ED. I still feel like I'll be judged.
Hopefully it'll all work out, but its just so frustrating sometimes when I need to eat differently than other people, and then it gets me in a pickle. And this isn't the first time its happened.
Sorry for the rant!